PAUSE

Hi Friends,

Before I begin the next chapter, I wanted to pause here and talk about the power of a story.

As you know, I love to hear people’s stories. In fact, my favorite genre of reading is biographies.  I’ve read lots of them.  Not because of who is the subject necessarily, but because I like read their story to find out what influenced them, what experiences they had, and what hurdles they overcame to create their story.  Biographies have a way of documenting histories of not only a person, but sometimes families, businesses, cultures and nations.  Oh, and the Bible is full of biographies.

As I ponder the power of a story I also reflect on the work of psychologists, therapists, and counselors.  A lot of their work is based on hearing a person’s story.  Telling your story and its impact on your life, can help change a negative thought pattern, celebrate a victory, or release pain that has been stewing for years.  Stories have an impact.

Stories can also help people identify with each other. I believe if you understand someone’s life story, you can better understand a person.  In sharing this chapter of my life story, it helps you – my beloved readers! – to know who I am.  Infertility is just one chapter of my life.

Infertility is real. It is painful. And it is not uncommon. Yet, I haven’t read many biographies dealing with the physical, emotional, and spiritual struggle when facing infertility.  The stories tend to be fictional or they gloss over the deep spiritual questions and jump right to the end of the story where someone either gets pregnant or adopts.

It would have been easy just to stick to the photo of my son and me and be done.  But that’s not what God asked me to do.  He wanted me to write about how my son and I came together.  And, He wanted me to be vulnerable in what I shared with you.  It hasn’t been easy reliving the story as I write it.  It hasn’t always been easy to be transparent with you.  Vulnerability is difficult.  But, your responses have been overwhelming supportive.  Thank you!  I’ve had many people tell me that they now know how to support their friend who is going through the IVF process.  They have developed a new compassion and understanding to their family members who are facing infertility.

However, this chapter isn’t just about infertility.  It’s about God writing my story and what He was teaching me though each part of this chapter. Each chapter that He wrote, I wanted a different ending!  I didn’t want His story for my life — I wanted mine, or at least, someone else’s story that had an ending I envied.  I wanted this chapter of my story to be over and done with.  I wanted to continue moving forward in my life at the same pace as everyone around me.  I didn’t want to wait for an ending to this chapter.  I just wanted it to be over.

I also struggled with the question why this was my story. Have you ever struggled with this question?  My hope is that no matter the story you have, you will be able to see this common struggle.  I believe that through our stories, we can see how God is at work in our lives.  God understands our struggles, our grief, our frustrations as well as our victories.

God has a purpose and plan for each word, sentence, and chapter as the Co-author of our stories.  I get it.  17 years later, I can still look back at this chapter and see what God was doing.  But, of course, I know the ending to this story.

I also know that God took everything that I knew about prayer, His promises and His character up to this point in my life and changed it.  God created this storyline and gave me a deeper understanding of who He is and a deeper connection with Him.  Without this chapter in my life, I wouldn’t have the deep relationship with God that I now have.

As God writes the current chapters of my story, I’m at a much better place.  I can look back at His faithfulness during this story and know with confidence that the Author does indeed know what He is doing.  It’s not a ‘fictional’ story where I or someone else is the author and I can write my preferred ending.  It’s a real life story that’s being written with God and me every day in my life.

And just like a great author, He always keeps me guessing about the ending!

 

Blessing to you my friends!